How can my prayers of repentance be more effective?

A person can sincerely offer prayers of repentance for a past sin, which he may have committed multiple times. He should resolve not to repeat it again in the future.

When the person repents, he needs to feel true remorse, shame and bitterness in his heart because of the sin that he committed. He needs to be repulsed by the thought of ever committing that sin again. When he has accomplished those goals, it is surely a sincere repentance that G-d will accept. However, if at some later time the person encounters that temptation again, he may face the same struggle with his evil inclination all over again. Hopefully, with the strength gained from his previous repentance and his increased understanding of the importance of not sinning, he will be able to overcome the challenge.

Setbacks and challenges

However, if he weakens and succumbs to his evil inclination (which is crafty and knows ways to trick or entice the person), he must as soon as possible come back to his senses and sincerely repent for the repeated sin. For sins between a person and G-d, one shouldn’t think that G-d won’t forgive him again. G-d’s attributes are infinite, including His attribute of forgiveness for one who is sincerely penitent and offers prayers of repentance. A cornerstone of trust in G-d is that He always accepts sincere repentance. But the goal is that from the outset, one should not sin.

A resource with important details is the chapter on “Repentance” in The Divine Code by Rabbi Moshe Weiner.[1] An important point is that if someone sins against another person, through damaging or harming, either physically, emotionally or financially, his repentance isn’t complete until he makes restitution to the victim (for example, for theft, by returning what he stole) and asks for forgiveness, and the victim is appeased and forgives him. If a situation arises in which that is not possible (for example, if the victim is unknown or passed away, or unwilling to forgive), the advice to follow is included in the above chapter and in the Seventh Gate of the book Seven Gates of Righteous Knowledge.[2]

Another important point is about the normal course of a person’s daily routine. That is not the time to fall into the mistake of dwelling on one’s bitterness and remorse over sins. That is a trick of the evil inclination, to bring a person to fall spiritually and begin to sin. One must always remember the obligation to “serve G-d with happiness” (Psalm 100). This applies during all your daily activities, since you must “know G-d in all your ways.”

Choosing a time for prayers of repentance

Therefore, a person should set aside special and limited times, in quiet privacy. Then, one can turn his thoughts to his past sin and allow himself to concentrate on his remorse and bitterness. With that in mind, he can sincerely confess the sin to G-d and plead for forgiveness. The best time for this is at night, in one’s prayers before going to bed. Once he has achieved this, he should experience relief and thankfulness to G-d, and go on to serve G-d happily. One should especially thoroughly understand and take to heart Psalm 51. It is strongly suggested to recite this Psalm after one’s prayers of repentance in the evening.

Gentiles should not observe Yom Kippur, which is based on the relationship between the Jews and G-d. But they should not think that they are lacking at all in their opportunity at any time for successful repentance. (A Jew can also accomplish that at any time). The fact that G-d commanded Yom Kippur to the Jews – corresponding to the day that Moses descended from Mount Sinai with the second Tablets of their Ten Commandments – should only be a positive influence. It can inspire a Gentile to do his or her own needed repentance on that day or any day of the year (with no fasting required). For deeper spiritual insights into the concept of repentance, please read our web page about the Covenant of the Rainbow.

Footnotes:

[1] That chapter includes Biblical references, and it lists practical rules on how to achieve repentance. They are primarily from the Mishneh Torah by Maimonides (Rambam), in the section on “Laws of Repentance.”

[2] Now available to read on-line.

– By Dr. Michael Schulman, Director of Ask Noah International.